09 July 2014

Life Is So Hard, Tommy

These are the things I associate my childhood with: Simpsons Road Rage for Game Cube. Tamagotchi's (even though mine always died). Neopets (though they definitely always died). Super-Soakers, Beany Babies, Polly Pockets, Spice Girls Barbies, AND Rugrats. The blessed kid's show was around from 1991 until 2004, meaning the first thirteen years of my life. And when it ended, I was deeply distressed. I was entering the gritty, horrible stages of adolescence, and I didn't know what I would do without Chuckie's effortless wit to come home to every day.

When I saw this crop top at Forever21 (there is a European branch!), I knew it had to be in my life. So many old memories revolve around Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil, and even Angelica. I always talk about the importance of holding on to your child self -- to the optimism and naiveté and innocence with which you used to view the world -- and I think little things can sometimes help facilitate that. Like buying a crop top with the full cast of your favorite kid's show plastered all over it.

I paired the top (which I purchased in a standard L because crop tops are naturally quite stretchy) with my favorite pair of shorts from ASOS Curve. You're probably tired of hearing me say how much I adore sunflowers, but they really are the only flower I feel a kindredness with.

I love the fit of the shorts and the '90s look to them. I think the style blends in well with the '90s nostalgia of Rugrats, but I also think the two items paired together break a "plus-size girls can't wear" duo, and that makes me very pleased. That plus-size women are so often told not to wear shorts or crop tops always gets me a little irritated, but I think it's important to break these stigmas and wear what you want, whether you think it makes you look fat or not.

This outfit isn't slimming. I know you can see my tummy rolls. But that's ok. A lot of times people send me emails asking how I got myself to think of my fat in a positive light. I never have that much of an answer, because it's not as easy as snapping your fingers. And it's not like anyone -- even the most confident of people -- are ever truly free of body hangups and insecurities. Because we are all only human, and we all have bad days. You just start changing your mindset. You stop thinking of "fat" as a bad word. It's not a bad word. Most of us have it. It's part of our bodies. It's part of our shapes. It can be feminine and it can be beautiful; just like any other trait. When you stop thinking of "fat" as a dirty word, then you can start loving your body. But I think that part has to come first.