What I Would Want My 12 Days To Be:
Note: This is not intended to describe the desires/Christmas wishes of all plus-size ladies out there. This is simply what I personally (because I have a sweet tooth, a love for cuddles, and happen to like clothes) would want for the holidays...it's meant to be funny!
On the first day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
A pint of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream.
On the second day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
2 chocolate bars
and a pint of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream.
On the third day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
3 French kisses
2 chocolate bars
and a pint of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream.
On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
4 XL undies
3 French kisses
2 chocolate bars
and a pint of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream.
On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
5 plus-size pants
4 XL undies
3 French kisses
2 chocolate bars
and a pint of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream.
On the sixth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
6 belly cuddles
5 plus-size pants
4 XL undies
3 French kisses
2 chocolate bars
and a pint of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream.
On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
7 pieces of pizza
6 belly cuddles
5 plus-size pants
4 XL undies
3 French kisses
2 chocolate bars
and a pint of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream.
On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
8 bacon burgers
7 pieces of pizza
6 belly cuddles
5 plus-size pants
4 XL undies
3 French kisses
2 chocolate bars
and a pint of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream.
On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
9 stretchy stockings
8 bacon burgers
7 pieces of pizza
6 belly cuddles
5 plus-size pants
4 XL undies
3 French kisses
2 chocolate bars
and a pint of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream.
On the tenth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
10 fat burlesque girls
9 stretchy stockings
8 bacon burgers
7 pieces of pizza
6 belly cuddles
5 plus-size pants
4 XL undies
3 French kisses
2 chocolate bars
and a pint of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream.
On the eleventh day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
11 peppermint patties
10 fat burlesque girls
9 stretchy stockings
8 bacon burgers
7 pieces of pizza
6 belly cuddles
5 plus-size pants
4 XL undies
3 French kisses
2 chocolate bars
and a pint of Ben&Jerry’s ice cream.
On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me:
12 delicious daiquiris
11 peppermint patties
10 fat burlesque girls
9 stretchy stockings
8 bacon burgers
7 pieces of pizza
6 belly cuddles
5 plus-size pants
4 XL undies
3 French kisses
2 chocolate bars
AND A PINT OF BEN&JERRY'S ICE CREEEEAM!
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